The Importance of Being

We've all heard that we're 'human beings' not 'human doings' but how many of us are really putting this into practice?

We write long lists of things to do and then beat ourselves up when we don't achieve the impossible.  Being self-employed, it's easy to let work slip into personal time especially if you've the kind of mind that's always coming up with ideas and wanting to get onto the next thing.  Being busy is a badge we wear to demonstrate our value and success, not to mention a socially acceptable way of avoiding things and feelings that might not be comfortable.   And of course, technology provides constant opportunities for distractions and disengaging if that's what we're seeking.

What saves me from the 'doing treadmill' are client coaching sessions.  To coach effectively I need to be fully present.  To gather my energy from the past and future and focus totally on the client and the coaching process.  Once I'm tuned into 'coaching mode', I have a clearer perspective on what's important.  Meditation and some dancing work like this for me, as does truly connecting with my partner.

This weekend was nearly completely overtaken with tasks but we managed to throw out the agenda for Saturday morning and just 'be'- wonderful, memorable, real intimacy.

Then spending time with my worried mother I was feeling inadequate until I realised I really couldn't do much.  She just needed me to be there.

Our time and full attention is a precious gift, who will you give yours to today? 

The Gift of Asking for Help

Taking the train into London recently, I needed to get off at a new stop.  I got up and stood by the door far too early, as did a woman travelling with her elderly mother on the mammothjourney from Hastings to York.  As we waited and chatted (I quite often break the mould and talk to fellow passengers just for fun), her mother became quite uncomfortable and pale.  (She didn’t want to sit back down as standing up was the hardest part.)

As we drew into the station more commuters joined us, including a young man who stood by the women’s cases.  As I already had a few bags, I asked the man if he wouldn’t mind carrying the cases.  His eyes lit up and he eagerly played his part, offering to carry the cases further.  Once on the platform, the Attendant was there in a flash offering a wheel chair and other help.   

I was reminded what a gift it is to ask for help.  The young man seemed genuinely pleased- perhaps he was thinking of offering but concerned about causing offence or of being rejected because of suspicion associated with his age and dress.  When working, helping others can be the most rewarding part of the day.

I guess it was easier for me to ask for help on behalf of the ladies as the young man could have said 'no' and I wouldn't have been offended.  There's often a lot of 'baggage' associated with asking for help.  Perhaps if we remembered what a gift that request can be, we'd take the risk and ask more often.

Reclaim Love 2013

"If you doubt the difference one being can make in the world, try sleeping with a mosquito!"  Venus reminded us from Eros statue at the Reclaim Love event she founded has organised & promoted for 10 years.  

On Saturday we gathered to celebrate love, not to protest against anything but as a reminder that we can't buy love in the shops despite the Valentine ads.  I had hearts and glitter painted on my face by a lady who has a stained glass shop in Kingston upon Thames, I chatted to someone from Littlehampton who came last year.  There was a fantastic samba band, we danced, helped children play with glitter & were given T shirts.  At 3.30 pm we all joined hands in a huge circle & said the prayer over and over 'May all the beings in all the worlds be happy and at peace'. 

This event was miraculous on a number of levels -  we were a large group right in the centre of London.  The police came by, chatted to Venus and then left things alone.  There was a diverse mix of people some looked to have alternative lifestyles, tourists mingled in with passers by - everyone got on & danced together It was clearly one woman's vision but many contributed - they brought things - hooller hooped put up flags....  The whole event flowed without people waiting to be told what to do.  

Aparently the event has now spread throughout the world - one woman's vision manifested.  No corporate sponsor or polical backing.  A bold demonstration of what's possible.

We were told this is Venus' last year of leading.  I wonder what she'll bring into being next.  And who will take up the Reclaim Love challenge next year, will it be you?

For more info see- http://www.facebook.com/reclaim.love?fref=ts

Happy Lupercalia!

I was just about to cancel my subscription to the Sanctury's Newsletter as I'm quite a way from Thailand now but then this newsletter came in....

Happy what, we hear you cry? Happy Valentines Day, surely?
Lupercalia was the Roman Festival that pre-dates Valentines Day. Sexier by half, it featured wolves, blood sacrifice, and semi-naked men running through the streets whipping women to increase their fertility – what’s not to like?
Lupercalia (derived from lupus = wolf) was observed on February 13 through 15 to avert evil spirits and purify the city, releasing health and fertility. Lupercalia subsumed Februa, an earlier-origin spring cleansing ritual held on the same date, which gives the month of February (Februarius) its name.
In Roman mythology, Lupercus is a god sometimes identified with the Roman god Faunus, who is the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Pan, who is a naughty little scamp. The festival began with the sacrifice of two male goats and a dog. Next two young patrician Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh as part of the ritual.
The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats, and ran round the walls of the old Palatine city with thongs in their hands, striking the people who crowded near. Girls and young women would line up on their route to receive lashes from these whips. This was supposed to ensure fertility, prevent sterility in women and ease the pains of childbirth - the ancient equivalent of IVF treatment, with a hint of fetish thrown in for fun.

My 14th Feb hasn't been nearly as wild (so far!).  Although I was happy being single most of the time, Valentine's would tug at my doubts (why hadn't I been able to attract love?  what was wrong with me).  Then I'd see couples out 'being romantic' but looking more like they were going through the motions of what was expected rather than having any genuine celebration.  And I wasn't too keen on that either!  I'm very pleased not to be waiting for a sign to show me how my man feels (he tells me regularly) and waking with him stroking my face this morning was just bliss.  Alternative celebrations planned for Saturday so I'll let you know if Lupercus turns up then! 

Blog Intentions

One of the discoveries I made when travelling was that I love to share my experiences.  I wrote about my observations and interactions in Asia and added comments and reflections.  

The group of friends and family reading back home were encouraging and interested to hear about the different perspectives I was developing from training and practising as a Life Coach.  I developed some of these pieces into articles for my coaching newsletter and they can be read at www.soulsanook.com/resources

Returning to the UK in 2009, I felt I had little to write about.  The transition was more challenging than I envisioned and a lot of life was taken up with the practicalities of finding work and building a home.

I'm now settled in a diverse and creative community by the sea.  I have amazing clients, some I've been working with for many years who are a constant source of inspiration and a new, exciting relationship we're approaching with great honesty and awareness.

My intention here is to share snippets of life to amuse, inspire and facilitate learning that might help you see and maybe even do your life in different and more fulfilling ways.