I didn’t drive in Bangkok, I had no need. So when I got in a car it could be several months or sometimes years since I last drove. On one visit to the UK, my first driving task was parking. When asked in advance, I fleetingly wondered if I’d be able to maneuver the unfamiliar car. But when I sat in the driver’s seat my automatic behaviour returned and I was neatly in a parking space before I had a chance to consciously think about it.
This reminded me of the learning model - unconscious
incompetence to unconscious competence. This model states that we start not knowing
what we don’t know, unconscious incompetence. For example many people offend people in different cultures
just because they are completely unaware of the other’s customs and ways of
showing respect. When we become aware
there’s something we don’t know, we become consciously
incompetent. We still do not know
what to do but we are aware there is potential for us to learn. When we decide to learn, each time we do the
new behaviour
we will consciously think through each step, we are consciously
competent. Later, with practice the
new behaviour will become automatic so our competence becomes unconscious. For
me, driving is unconscious competence.
Interestingly my automatic behaviour included not only my good
habits, but my bad ones as well. I
automatically looked in the mirror and automatically crossed my hands on the
steering wheel. I did not think about
‘how’ to do any of this, I just did it.
If you ask me to show you how to drive, I’m not sure I could. I’m not sure I could take one step back to
conscious competence without experiencing some
conscious incompetence first!
If I had got into a state of worry before parking, I’m pretty sure
I could have convinced myself that when driving I had to be in control. And to feel in control I would have had to
consciously think about each action.
This would have involved much more energy and as I said I’m not sure I
would have been effective.
There are many things we do automatically- walking, greeting
someone, cooking, writing. By having
these things done automatically, our mind is free to focus on where it’s
needed, learning something new, for example.
Sometimes however, we don’t allow ourselves to respond automatically. Maybe an emotion (like fear) gets in the way
and tells us we’re unable to trust that part of ourselves. So we analyse, think, try and we disregard
our natural intuition and abilities.
Creativity, I believe is something every human
does automatically. To be aware of how
you’re being creative and to be creative at the same time is quite a
challenge. With this consciousness you
may also be judging the level of your creativity. The judgment can lead to many emotions which
then produce a block. Our task is to
allow ourselves to be creative, releasing control and accepting any feelings
that might produce.
I’m not against being self-aware, but choose the areas in which
you want to build awareness. If you’re
looking to change something about yourself, you can first see if there is a
positive natural or automatic behaviour you’re blocking with your feelings-
your creativity, connection with others, ability to ride a bike. In that case the ‘change’ comes from ‘getting
out of our own way’, releasing the feelings so the true you can shine through.
As with my driving, automatic
behaviour might not be all good.
There may be some habits that have a negative impact, such as over
eating. In this case we could to go back
to being conscious of our behaviour
so we can be aware of the triggers for our over eating, analyse what we eat when and why
and be aware of how that feels. This
takes a good deal of energy and as ‘what we pay attention to grows’, focusing
on the problem often makes the problem bigger!
Another option is to use the power of Intention. One thing that was significantly different in
my driving on this visit was that it was slower.
Rather than racing to get to my next appointment, I had plenty of time
and my intention was to enjoy the scenery.
I did not think about driving at a specific speed it just happened
automatically once that intention was clear.
Using our intention means we focus not on the mechanics of the behaviour we want to change
but on the positive outcome we’re wanting to achieve. This re-aligns our behaviour without us having
to get so self- conscious.
This article was written whilst I was living in Thailand. I'm now living in St Leonards on Sea on the beautiful UK south coast
Debbie Reeds
www.soulsanook.com
