Resistance is Pointless

I was interested to read about the overwhelming fullness of our lives in preparation for the radio interview I did recently.  In her book, Overwhelm, Brigid Schulte talks about the social pressure for us to take on more and more and the pressure we put on ourselves to fit in all that we want to do as well as all we think we should be doing.  We just don’t say ‘no’ and we don’t want to!

We can have the best time management in the world but we still cannot fit everything into our lives that we’d like to do and do all we need to do to earn the money for everything we’d like to have.  It seems increasingly we don’t want to choose, we think we can magically stretch time and search for the mystical answer that will make it all fit.  When it doesn’t we push ourselves harder.  This is not the route to happiness!

 

Two really useful time management tips….

Mark Forster's ‘Get Everything Done and Still Have Time to Play’, is my favourite time managment approach.  His tips include....

 

Tip 1:  Be realistic
Consider all you’re attempting to fit into your life and assess whether this is realistically possible.  If the things you have to do and the time available do not match, you have a problem and no amount of time management techniques will fix it.

So prune your tasks…..

·         ~ Cut out all the things you feel you should do but actually never get round to

·         ~ Delegate all you can.  Make use of all available resources, ask for help, pay for help automate 

·         ~ Consider completing projects one by one rather than all at once.  Extend timescales, re-negotiate deadlines

·         ~ Be clear on your passion and purpose.  Prioritise the activities relating to these

·         ~ Make ‘no’ your default.  Remember a ‘no’ to another is a ‘yes’ to yourself

·         ~ Work on letting go of any guilt and negative self-talk relating to putting yourself first and taking care of your needs

Tip 2: Be guided by resistance. 

We all have activities and tasks we resist.  Maybe it’s facing up to the fact our life is overfull and we need to do something about it or perhaps it is getting round to one of the actions above?  When we resist doing something, we find other distractions, other things to keep us busy.  We justify to ourselves that these tasks are important and meaningful but are they really?  The longer we resist something, the harder it gets to do it and the more time we’ve wasted doing other ‘busy stuff’.  Our minds are quite clever at this and it can take some time before we are conscious of what it is that we are resisting 

Eventually either the resisted activity either becomes far too difficult to contemplate or becomes urgent so the pain of not doing it outweighs the pain of doing it. 

Occasionally the resistance is a voice of wisdom – the thing may not be so important or relevant now.  In which case make a clear decision not to do it so you can stop giving it your energy.

To conquer resistance….

1.       Check in with your intuition, is this activity still important to you?  Why?

2.       Do it now.  Organise your time so you do the thing you’re resisting most.  Once you’ve finished one thing, ask yourself, what am I resisting most now?

3.       Break tasks down into small chunks

4.       Give yourself small amounts of time to complete the small chunks

5.       Give the tasks challenging time deadlines

This takes practice but I’ve found really rewarding.  It gives me a sense of life flowing.  Clients too report the increasing confidence and self-pride that comes from tackling something you’ve been putting off.  Give it a go and let me know how you get on!