The Victim, The Survivor and The Thriver

One of the many things I enjoy about coaching conversations is learning the different maxims we live by.  A recent coachee had experienced abuse as a young woman and for many this would have defined a lifetime of angst, therapy and relationship problems.  However she had been able to walk away and live fully and freely.  She put this down to defining herself as a survivor rather than a victim. 

Throughout her life, she has noticed this in others as well.  If someone considers themselves a victim, they think about how they were mistreated and feel sad and powerless. Even though technically they can be described as a victim, it is more beneficial for their healing if they regard themselves as a survivor.  The mentality of a survivor is much more empowering.  They might still be might hurt and angry but they are in a position to use this as a force for change.

After the conversation, I thought how we could all do with treating life this way.  Whether we’re facing large or small challenges, mishaps or disasters, our mindset is vital.  Once we can change our outlook from victim to survivor, why not take a step further to ‘thriver’?    A thriver is someone who tackles challenges in such a way that they use the experience to grow and progress.  So in overcoming the challenge, we gain in some way that would have been impossible had the challenge not taken place.