Tim's Easter Message

I love this message from 5 Rhythms teacher and workshop leader, Tim Broughton.  Enjoy!

Rising up into consciousness like the phoenix rising from the ashes. It seems to me this is why we are here; to enter on a lifelong journey from our instinctual, patterned, habitual and repetitive behaviours that condition our biological existence, and undertake a migration within ourselves. To rise within ourselves to embrace the awakening and movement of consciousness within us. 

Like turning on the light within us, sometimes it is just a flicker, and even that flicker is significant enough that we can't quite ignore it. From that flicker of light within us, our dawning consciousness can further flicker. If we pay attention these flickers can grow little by little until it is a strong and established fire within us. I am not talking about the "look at me, I'm burning bright" of the ego. I am referring to something that has a quality of humbleness, is quiet and yet can be celebratory and even ecstatic too. It includes concern for others and where we are collectively going, as well as looking after oneself. It seems to me Jesus was someone who completed this transformation. He is one of a number of beacons for how we can be. Rumi was another, Buddha and Osho to name just a few. Perhaps Gabrielle Roth* too. 

For me, Easter is a reminder to continue attending to this inner resurrection, this inner rise into consciousness, no matter what our life's circumstances, no matter what we may experience at the hands of another. To do what ever needs to be done within ourselves, and in relation to others; and in relation to the Earth whom we are intimately in relationship with, and which sustains our very life. In choosing my journey I have slowly come to realise that choosing is a moment to moment, living, ongoing choosing that I am endlessly invited to make. Sometimes I have gone in the opposite direction or slipped back; and this has been an essential part of me gradually clarifying the quality of consciousness through my choosing. I think  this is a lifelong journey and beyond.

I remember occasions of the still small voice of consciousness within me as a child. I remember the unhappiness and dissatisfaction with my life which, in my early twenties somehow drew me to Encounter Groups and others workshops. Through them I began to wake up and feel inspired by the possibilities for how we can be as human beings. I have gone through many heartaches and crucifixions - emotional, psychological and mental deaths, gradually growing and rising through them. I say rising because it is both an expansion within as well as rising to stand upright. There is always the danger that the Ego will ride on the back of these changes and hijack us again. Feelings of self-importance and aggrandisement are just two sure signs our ego has slipped into the driving seat again!

I am sure I have many more lives to go in undertaking this personal transformation. It seems to me the collective transformation is only seen as a reflection of the sum of the personal, uniquely individual journeys we are each invited to make through the living of our lives. I am glad to be this far on the journey, living the journey, some days vibrantly, and sometimes in survival. It requires me to pick myself up over and over again, getting to the dance floor, getting my clothes on, having a shower,(not necessarily in that order!), getting to the cooker, seeing my therapist, paying the bills, sitting in the sun, visiting a friend. All these everyday tasks gradually being brought into the service of transformation where these everyday tasks of living can become the miraculous, can become ecstatic, or quietly intoxicatingly beautiful. OK, there are areas of my life where I have yet to make this transition, effortlessly completing my Tax Return for example. It isn't that I don't want to complete it. It's more that the ordered collection of everything needed is not my strong point. I have a strong pattern to choose avoidance in the face of certain tasks that require order. The discipline of Staccato, of being ordered is not strong in me. Give me a Chaos situation and I can happily hang out in it for years! Turning the same everyday activity from base metal into gold; that, I think, is the remarkable invitation that is our human being journey. I imagine you have your own sense of how you transform an everyday activity into gold; the activity essentially remaining the same; just that your changing experience has become the transformation.

So for all the terrible things that human beings continue to do to themselves, each other, and the rest of the natural world, I remain optimistic about the overall journey that we are all on. I don't think our journeys are isolated journeys. I think ours is a relational journey, and, only we can undertake our personal journey. Happy Easter Rising. 

tim@tim-broughton.com  www.tim-broughton.com   www.facebook.com/fiverhythmswithtim

* Gabrielle Roth was the creator of 5 Rhythms www.gabrielleroth.com

The Mastery of Self Expression

I’ve just spent the weekend with the wonderful Christine Kimberley ‘back rowing’ on the powerful workshop the Mastery of Self Expression.  Throughout all that I’ve participated in and observed, this course most consistently delivers stunning transformations to a diverse range of participants whatever their starting point.

By now the course is quite familiar to me but the introductory remarks really hit home this time.  Christine told participants they’d be practising ‘seeing reality, owning it and creating from there’.  It sounds simple, obvious even, but this phrase seems to capture the essence of living consciously.  Here’s my interpretation…

Seeing reality- What’s happening around us?  What are our senses telling us?  How are we feeling?  Are we completely present in this moment?  If not where are we?  If we are in the past, we are likely to be recycling past feelings.  Maybe we haven’t even noticed we are repeating the same patterns over and over.  These might have served us once but so they still?  To clearly see reality we need to bring our energy back from the past by feeling the uncomfortable feelings, forgiving and letting go.  Equally if we are hanging out in the future, our reality can be coloured by expectations, we step out of the present when we live in our dreams or get too attached to making them happen.  So for me ‘seeing reality’ is about really being honest with ourselves about what’s happening right now.  It’s about being conscious.

Own it.  Another Mastery learning point is ‘you are the source of your own creativity’.  I’ve heard this said many times and only just made the link between this and conscious living.  Our lives do not happen to us, we are not victims, we play a part in their creation.  Even when we think a random event has hurt us, we choose our response; we can choose to take the part of victim or to take responsibility.   Although the victim label may be just, it won’t help us to heal and move forward.  When we take responsibility for our lives and the situations we find ourselves in, we 'own reality'.  We put ourselves in a position of power.

Create from there.  Now we are awake in the present and have taken responsibility for where we are, we are in the position to consciously create the lives we desire.  We have all our creative resources available to form ideas, connect with people and express ourselves.  We can choose to do life differently and we naturally use the law of attraction to our advantage.  We have lots of fun with this in the workshop!

These notes are my interpretation and the workshop is much more about experimenting than understanding concepts.  It was a privilege to witness the participants using these principles throughout the weekend and hear about the new possibilities available to them.  I’m so excited to see what continues to unfold

For more information and to sign up for the newsletter visit

www.hastingsmastery.org.uk

Zap Your Tolerations

She stumbled out of bed, tripping over the pile of magazines she’d been meaning to read and rummaging around for a clean shirt with a full set of buttons.  She noticed the mirror still propped against the wall, one day she’d hang it up.  She was dreading the journey to work with its on-going road works…

This scenario is packed with tolerations, things we put up with that are less than ideal.

The negative effects of clutter are widely known but, seemingly petty, incomplete tasks and frustrations also drain our energy and distract us from other more meaningful things.  They are well worth addressing and, as we fix each one, we feel lighter.  There are better things to do than tolerate!

The first step is to identify your tolerations at home and at work and write them down.  Then apply one of the 6Ds to each item….

1.    Do it!  Do it now and get it out of the way.

2.    Dump it!  Take old clothes to charity, decide you don’t need to read the magazines…

3.    Delegate.  Is there someone else who could help?

4.    Deal with it.  You cannot influence the traffic, but how can you deal with the jams differently without getting stressed?

5.    Divide.  Reading that pile of magazines seems so daunting but reading one a day is possible.

6.    Due Date.  If you cannot do it today, when can you do it?  Prioritise and diarise.

A good tip is to make sure you handle the source so the problem does not recur and look for a pivotal toleration- one thing that will resolve others automatically, like moving home.  Do not forget to look for ways to make boring jobs fun and celebrate your achievements!

Tolerations are part of the Life Puzzle piece ‘I create my space’.  For more information and to claim your free Life Puzzle Analysis contact Soul Sanook Life Coach Debbie on 07702 737019 or at email@soulsanook.com

Soul Sanook

Sanook means fun in Thai.  In 2005 when I was pondering a name for my new coaching business, Soul Sanook seemed to describe what my coaching was about.  Rather than performance goals and career strategies, which tended to be the reputation of coaching at the time, my clients were looking for fun at a deep level, enjoying life to the full, feeling in the flow with their spiritual path and making their unique contribution to the world.

Regularly meeting monks and dedicated meditation trainees in Thailand, it seemed to me that although their challenges were significant, they were following a full-time, clear path with experienced teachers and mentors to hand.  Those who are exploring and discovering their own spiritual path or who are implementing tailor made spiritual practises whilst also living in the ‘real world’ with families, jobs and full lives, face a whole different set of challenges. Integrating spirituality into daily life is a constant balancing act of making sure you're being true to yourself and doing what's required to live in our society.

When we lose our way, it's important to remember we are 'spiritual beings having a human experience' and life makes much more sense viewed in this way.  In any situation, we have the opportunity to wake up and connect with our spiritual selves, to expand our thinking, choose love over fear and find our Soul Sanook.

Conscious Loving Reminders

Ever been in a relationship when you feel you’re constantly walking on egg shells?  Arguments recycle in a constant battle over who is the bigger victim: We become partners in each other ‘s dramas, acting out scenes from the past in an unconscious agreement to feel bad and limit each other’s potential. 

Conscious Loving- the Journey to Co-commitment by Gay and Kathlyn Henricks is my relationship bible. I discovered it after a particularly arduous relationship which I thought had such wonderful potential but which kept painfully stumbling at the same points.  Despite us both being into personal development, we just didn’t seem to be able to move it forward.  Since then I’ve recommended it to friends and clients and applied the ideas to myself and other relationships, it’s principles really fit with the person I want to be and the relationship I want to have.

Whilst flirting with the possibilities of my current relationship I gave the book to my potential partner with a rather demanding ‘this is what I want’.  Amazingly he didn’t run a mile, he carried it around quoting bits back at me!  Now we’re needing its wisdom more I’m finding he’s dipped into it rather than really digested all the ideas and, rather embarrassingly, on re-reading I’d also forgotten some of the suggestions.  Here’s a summary of the key points…..

Co-commitment is a state of well-being in relationships that enhances the energy and creativity of each person.  It’s passionate, productive and harmonious and involves waking up & not recreating childhood patterns.

Love is a powerful force and resistance to love causes problems.  Loving relationships bring to surface parts of ourselves we’ve hidden and often don’t want others to see, when they emerge we often retreat blaming others.

There are no victims in co-committed relationships because both people are willing to accept that they are the cause of what happens to them.

Co-dependence is the situation I described in the first paragraph.  It’s an addiction to control and approval (or avoiding disapproval).  As long as we try and control ourselves and others and strive to get others to like us, our Spiritual essence is obscured.  There is a completely loveable essence at the centre of each of us that is beyond all of our strivings.

Are you co-dependent?  The Henricks give this list…

§   In spite of your best efforts, people around you don’t change their bad habits

§   You have difficulty allowing others to feel their feelings because you think it’s your fault

§   You have secrets you’re hiding from another person

§   You don’t let yourself feel all your feelings

§   You criticise or get criticised frequently.  You have a strong internal critic that keeps you feeling bad even in moments you should be feeling good

§   Your arguments tend to recycle

§   You frequently agree to do things you don’t want to do but say nothing

§   People do not seem to keep their agreements with you.

How relationships work

In the early days there’s romance- the relationship is wonderful and energetic and your partner can do (almost) no wrong.

Then the inevitable happens, closeness brings unpleasant parts to the surface….

Trust issues- first year of life- will he/she leave me too?

Authority issues- nobody’s gonna tell me what to do!

Self esteem issues- once we hand over our power to another person we are at their mercy, do I deserve to be here?

Long repressed feelings

Sexual issues

You then have a choice

Path A is to inquire into the source, take full responsibility for them and tell the truth about them to your partner.  You will learn to love previously unloved parts of you that are emerging

Or path B withhold (e.g. swallow anger), withdraw (pull back) and project attribute to another person something that’s going on at an unconscious level for you

Once B is selected your options are limited, you can split up, withdraw or make a deal (something like, if you do X I won’t mention Y)

Path A, the Journey to co-commitment starts with making 6 commitments….

1.  I commit to being close and I commit myself to clearing up anything in the way of my ability to do so

2.  I commit myself to my own complete development as an individual

i.e. 100% you and 100% in relationship

3.  I commit to revealing myself fully in my relationships not to conceal myself

4.  I commit to the full empowerment of people around me- you support your partner’s full development

5.  I commit to acting on the awareness that I am 100% the source of my reality.  Taking responsibility for our own lives and our own feelings.

6.  I commit to having a good time in my close relationships

Wouldn't you want to make these commitments for your own development and happiness anyway?! I hope you’re in or moving towards co-committed relationships too!  The book’s available on Amazon….